


Some days I feel everything at once

by Technicallyarevenant



Series: Some days I feel everything at once [1]
Category: Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Bruce Wayne Has Issues, But I'm not sure how to tag the trigger warnings?, Jason Todd Angst, Jason Todd Needs A Hug, Jason Todd has vaguely suicidal thoughts, Jason Todd is Red Hood, Jason Todd swears a lot, Mentioned Alfred Pennyworth, Mentioned Bruce Wayne, Mentioned Dick Grayson, a lot of swearing, trigger warning?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-12 17:06:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19949794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Technicallyarevenant/pseuds/Technicallyarevenant
Summary: And sometimes, sometimes Jason wondered what would have happened if he had never come back to life at all. If he had just stayed fucking dead.





	Some days I feel everything at once

**Author's Note:**

> This is a lot shorter than I would like it to be, but I do actually like how it turned out. I love Jason Todd so much and felt I should put out a work with him in it, and felt I needed to put something on my AO3 that will actually be finished. This will have two parts and I'll start working on the 2nd part immediately so there's that. Again, as stated in the tags, um, trigger warning? Jason is going through some things in this story and it is mentioned, he's very self deprecating and has somewhat suicidal thoughts? I don't want to seem insensitive but I'm really not sure how to add the correct trigger warnings so if you could help with that I'd really appreciate it. Thanks for reading this! I hope you enjoy it!

It was a mess. The whole thing was a mess. Jason wiped a hand down his face, throwing his helmet onto the couch of his safehouse. Fucking Bruce. Goddamn bastard. Why couldn't he just leave Jason alone? Jason was doing good things, and just because Bruce didn't agree with how Jason was doing things didn't mean he had to interfere with every fucking thing he did. Jason had just wanted one night where Bruce didn't fucking corner him when he went out. He didn't need a fucking lecture from Bruce every time he cornered him either. Jason wasn't going to stop just because Bruce didn't agree with his methods. Jason wasn't even able to take his anger out on some fucking criminals, because Bruce chased him off and Jason hadn’t felt like dealing with Bruce breathing down his neack the entire night. Jason’s breathing got heavier as his anger just built and built before finally, Jason turned and slammed his fist into the wall, ignoring the pain it brought him. He needed something more than this, this stupid life! Where everything he did was criticized! He needed a father who actually trusted him and everything he did instead of the current fucking one who felt that he was little more than another fuck up! Jason looked down at his injured hand in numb awareness of the fact that his knuckles were bleeding and that his wall now had a hole in it. He flexed the injured hand, relishing the stinging pain that it sent through his hand and up his arm. He’d probably sprained or broke a finger, and at this point Jason didn’t really care whether he had or not, and it was with some form of sick fascination that he watched a small drop of blood make its way down from his knuckles, continuing down his hand, leaving a trail of red in its wake. He turned and slid down the wall, still watching his hand. He knew he would have to clean it up, and that he should do it soon if he didn't want an infection, but with the anger draining out of his body, all he wanted to do was stay where he was and do nothing. Jason was tired. He was so, so tired. He let the bloodied hand drop into his lap, no doubt staining his pants so that he could instead stare blankly ahead. What was the point, really? Jason wasn't even sure anymore. He wasn't what anyone wanted. When people looked at him, they didn't see him, they saw someone that he no longer was. And when Jason broke through that expectation that he would be just as they remembered, they retaliated against him. Bruce remembered 'a good soldier', Alfred remembered a boy who died too soon, and Dick remembered a little brother he hadn’t loved enough. And they all felt the same thing. Guilt. And Jason was sick of it. Sick of everything. Sick of memories of a boy who died a long time ago. A boy that he no longer was. And sometimes, sometimes Jason wondered what would have happened if he had never come back to life at all. If he had just stayed fucking dead.


End file.
